When Life Gets You Down

Life in the fast lane. That's how many of us live. We are so busy that we don’t take the time to reflect on the present and how far we have actually gone through. We are so preoccupied, so focused on what will happen the next day, the next month, or perhaps the next year.

For many of us, life is similar to driving: we usually think about what we need to do when we arrive at the destination, and what we still have to do on the way home. What if there’s a sudden detour, a sudden change of direction that shunts us back to reality? Our whole thought process abruptly changes, and all our future planning is interrupted. Then here comes the bigger question: how far off track will we have to go? Do we really have enough gas to go through all the twists of this new journey?

Personally speaking, I have already gone through a lot of detours in life – from choosing a university to deciding which course to take, all the way down to college’s own version of survival of the fittest. My life’s trip has never been smooth and straight as I wanted it to be. Oh well, I guess it is just true (yes, unbelievably true) that life always finds a way to hand us challenges and to let us experience all these annoying detours. Sometimes, the challenges we usually come across are self inflicted because of poor choices we have made. Other times, they are inflicted on us because of poor choices other people have made which directly – or indirectly – influence our lives.

I am no rookie in terms of that. In fact, if life were a drive test, I would certainly be granted a license. Back then, I always worry about the things that are still to come. For instance, let’s say today is a Monday, and everybody – including me – feels bright and happy. Then all of a sudden, I would extremely be worried as I stare at my weekly planner – my always fully-booked planner. What the hell. What if I can’t finish this on time? What if I won’t be able to accomplish all these tasks? And from there, I would rant, rant, rant. Then what? I end up tiring myself; I end up exhausting and wasting myself right on the freaking first day of the week.

I admit, that was just self-inflicted stress. But the point is, if we preoccupy ourselves in worrying and thinking about tomorrow, then we will just end up missing the beauty of today, of the present. We are likely to ruin a supposedly beautiful day just because we think ahead of ourselves and of the situation. Many times, challenges are just like that. Many times, they are just part of life, and that, we can’t do anything about. But naturally, we are given two options on how to respond to them: 1) we can choose to take the challenges head on and make the most of them, seeing them as opportunities to grow as a person; or 2) we can moan, complain and grumble about how unfair the world is, and just end up finding the same challenges until we choose to take life's lessons and use them to grow.

What I’m trying to say is this: the success of a new journey really depends on our perception, our reaction, our attitude. In terms of driving, when we suddenly face a detour, we are free to choose whether to panic or to stay calm, to worry or to cool down. Our reaction to these is critical. The way we choose to perceive and respond is vital and will ultimately affect the direction we are head on.

When I was in my high school years, my dad would always say to my eldest brother when he was rushing because he was late: “You’re running late! Either you drive like a mad woman and get there 10 minutes late, or you could take your time, drive carefully, be calm and still arrive 10 minutes late!” Okay dad, that was weird. But now I come to realize and start to appreciate my dad’s wisdom. It is actually the difference between arriving flustered, apologetic and unsettled OR arriving completely in control and realizing you weren’t that late after all. Perhaps, peace is the best route for most of our journeys in life. If we try our best to be calm, if we try our best to think rationally, and if we try to disregard first our worries of tomorrow and just settle on the treasures of today, then we can go with the flow, and be back on track even before we know it.

Sure life is tough, that is why we have to atleast find a way to appreciate the detours and the difficulties that life throws our way! If life was easy all of the time, if life was so straight without all these twists and turns, I think we would all grow lazy and be rarely motivated to further change and grow. Face it, difficulties force us to change in ways that we would never do otherwise. When we are put in situations that make us uncomfortable, we frequently see the need for a change in our own actions, attitudes and even our thinking.

Sure life is daunting, but there is actually a lot more to be thankful for. You know what, one thing I learned from my mom is this: each difficulty presents a learning opportunity, else it wouldn’t be difficult. Just last summer, I got my first F in a long test. Imagine, that was my first ever F in a major subject! I did everything I could; infact, I have already forgotten to sleep right and eat right just to meet its level of difficulty. At first I was scared because the subject was alien to me, but then I became optimistic thinking that with my study habits, I could make up to my inexperience. But that F mark proved me wrong. I cried a lot because it hurts. Not because I’m grade conscious (actually, I never was); it’s because I failed to understand the paradox: I gave my all, only to know it wouldn’t equally pay off. That is a big, big challenge to me. I was down for several days and during these times, I realized that life – no matter how cool and fun it is – lets us experience its downsides to make us better people. What a lesson, I thought. That is life – we just have to open our eyes and look for the lesson to be learned. It may be similar with finding a needle in a haystack. But then again, we have to look hard as we need to because once we find that lesson, it would surely be something that we can carry for the rest of our life and for the rest of our journey.

Yes, today may not guarantee us a good outcome. Errors happen, and we fail from time to time, but we have to be ready to step up again, and move ahead rather than losing everything just because we were torn down by a bit of bad luck. Occasional mishaps happen to all of us. The difference just lies in what we learn from our mistakes, and that – as I have said earlier – will determine how we live our lives today and of course, tomorrow.

I know many of us are accustomed to an even, suave road or perhaps a cozy, comfy life to the point that when we feel like there is something on the way that will prevent us from being secured, we frequently panic and end up losing in control. Sometimes we even waver when things don't unfold the way we expect them to. Why don’t we just stay calm, breathe freely, and appreciate our “today” without jumping ahead and worrying what will happen next? When faced with a sudden unexpected situation, why don’t we start by assessing the situation in our minds? Choose how we wish to react, and the best way to be in control is to keep calm and continue living today as if it would be the best (or perhaps the last) day you’ll ever, ever, ever have.

I bet you don’t want to stay lost on track when life gets you down, do you? :)